Friendship To Last
by ncisgirl4ever
Summary: After "Into Darkness", explanation inside. Summary: Just how much were the 2 main protagonists really affected by Kirk's death? Both of them find out, as well as how friends mess with your feelings, whether you're a Vulcan or not.


**Yes, I know, haven't updated in a while, but us authors are ushered by inspiration. So, when you have just bits and pieces of ideas, it's kinda hard to write a full story, don't ya think? ;) Anyway, let me explain something. The story is set a week after Kirk's speech in "**_**Into Darkness**_**" and 1 year (as made obvious by the aforementioned speech) after the almost destruction of the **_**Enterprise **_**and death of its captain. Second **_**Star Trek**_** story. Boy, aren't I excited? (partying)**

**Enjoy and R&R!**

**Sadly, I do not own Star Trek or any of its wonderful characters.**

* * *

He wasn't aversive or avoiding his First Officer for that matter. It's just that... he _really _didn't want to confront him. Spock hadn't done anything to him, no. It was _he _who had done something to Spock.

And he hated himself for it, every one bit.

True, Jim wanted his Commander to show emotion - even just a tiny little bit - but his main goal was to make him laugh.

Okay, outstretched goal, perhaps smile.

And - let's face it - Spock could be a bit of a jerk. But Jim never wanted to hurt him.

Never.

And it seems that his death had done just that.

He was shocked, to say the least. But in the end, comfort and security and _warmth _had made their way to Jim's senses at that moment. The moment his sight is filled, not by the external warp core, but by his First Officer's warm brown eyes. His ever-emotionless second-in-command is kneeling in front of him, so close yet so far away, a tear making its way down his pale cheeks.

Oh, how Jim wanted to comfort his friend. To tell him that everything would be okay, that he wasn't weak for letting his emotions come to the surface. That it was alright to simply let go.

The only thing that came out though...

_"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die. Why I went back for you."_

That was the only real comfort he could give Spock. The truth. His feelings. Why Jim couldn't let him perish in that volcano.

Because he would feel just as lost. Just as broken and sad and afraid and _hurt _by Spock's death as Spock seemed to be by his own.

He doesn't realise how far he is walking in the corridor he is currently walking in until he narrowly misses his destination.

_FIRST OFFICER'S QUARTERS_

Jim sighs. He doesn't know what he's supposed to say and do, only what he _wants_.

_"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I only know what I can do."_

With those words he leans closer to the door.

"Spock? It's Jim. Can I come in?"

He doesn't receive an answer.

"Spock?", he tries again. Nothing.

Worried, he uses his override code and enters the quarters.

"Spock?" No answer.

_Perhaps he's not here.._. , Jim thinks

A muffling noise proves him wrong.

"Spock?" He goes near the bathroom door. "Buddy, you in there?"

The muffles stop. Instead, Jim hears a shuffling noise that can only belong to a person changing clothes.

After a few minutes, the uniform-clad Commander comes out of the shared bathroom (why Captain and First Officer were made to share a bathroom is beyond Jim). To the unexperienced eye, he looks fine. But to Jim's eyes, he's anything but.

"Captain.", Spock addresses his commanding officer firmly

"You're not alright.", Jim says matter-of-factly

"I am perfectly alright, Captain. May I enquiry as to you being in my quarters?", Spock asks neutrally

"Don't change the subject, Spock." _Huh, who's changing the subject now, Kirk? _, he thinks bitterly

"What's going on? What's in that Vulcan head of yours? I've known you for 4 years and we could always read each other. I gotta admit that I'm kinda lost here, buddy.", Jim pleads

"There is nothing you should be worried about, Captain.", Spock says neutrally again

"As Captain, I'm not worried. You're performing admirably. Your actions affect the ship, as always, and for the better. But as your friend...", Spock snaps his head at that, "...I am worried as hell, being fully aware that something is bothering you. And whatever affects you... affects me, too." Spock lowers his head.

"Then the same goes for me, as well. Because your...passing... made me react in ways I had never experienced before. I was... feeling so many things at once. Sadness, hurt, guilt... but most of all, rage and grief. I wished to avenge you. I went after Khan and I tried to kill him. That was my only purpose at that time.", Spock admits, sadness in his eyes.

Jim is horrified. Spock? _Wanting _to _kill _a person? He realises right there and then how much his closest friend was really affected by the result of his reckless, yet heroic, act.

"What stopped you?", he eventually asks

"Nyota. She beamed down to tell me that Khan was needed so that we could save you.", Spock explains "I am sorry, Jim. I understand my actions were uncharacterestic and illogical. I hope that in time you can forgive me."

Jim shakes his head. "There's nothing to forgive. Uncharacterestic, yes, but natural and to be expected. You are half-human, after all." He stops. "And I'm sorry, too. For everything I put you through and the crew. That is why I came to your quarters, by the way.", Jim says, answering Spock's very first question. "I never meant to hurt you. Sure, my goal over these years was probably made obvious, trying to make you just tug your lips upward, even for a fraction of a second. But I would never, _ever _hurt you. Not intentionally, at least.", Jim finishes, the memory of his death still fresh in both men's minds, as if the 1 year since the event had never really passed.

"We are two sorry idiots, aren't we?", Jim says, chuckling.

Spock's lips tug upwards.

"There you go!", Jim exclaims "If I had known that calling you a sorry idiot would have that effect on you, be certain that I would have used it earlier."

Spock eventually smile, teeth showing, huffing.

"Oh my, I don't have a camera, damn it!", Jim says, smiling brightly. Then he chuckles a little.

"So... we're good?", Jim asks, with a small smile.

"Yes, Jim. We're good.", Spock answers, mirroring Jim's expression.

_"Bridge to Enterprise. Captain Kirk and Commander Spock requested to report to the Bridge immediately. Bridge out."_

"That's us.", Kirk says casually after Sulu's announcement.

"Yes. I believe it is.", his second-in-command says

And with that, they left behind Spock's quarters and hardships past, making their way to the _Enterprise_'s bridge and their future together as Captain and First Officer of Starfleet's flagship.


End file.
